Come back if u want to. I'll do some dirty shit to u mamacita.
So I just went home and made my own spanx by cutting the legs off of a pair of nylons. I'm either a genius or missed my calling to live in a trailer park.
Why are there so many empty soda cans in my room?
You put them in a circle around your bed and said it was the best way to ward of the witches from hocus pocus....then you remembered you needed salt too. I'm assuming you havent gone to the bathroom yet.
Warning...her vagina is big, like sleeping bag big.
I just gift wrapped bread.
flashcards smell like vodka and my textbook is in the toilet. ready for the final
I just ate nachos topless with a fork. Live with meeee
We just found a knife wedged in between the cushions on the couch you guys fucked on...why is this?
I blacked out before two in the afternoon yesterday. Now that's a successful birthday.
Nope. He totaled my car then moved back to Louisiana to work things out with baby mama. I sure know how to pick em
Just did it in a room with glowing stars to Peter Gabriel's down to earth on shrooms. This is like god
Just peed out a window, not entirely sure it's open. Can't tell. I'll find out in the morning.
I think I was just hit on by Jesus Christ. This is not okay. Bad Touch. I NEED AN ADULT!
Calm the hell down, it's just stoner Bob.
Just had a threesome with my best friend and LSAT teacher...just checked three things off my bucket list in one night
He said watch this and then went and tripped into a group of 40 year old women, now he's leaving the club with them.
Randomize
