It's like the water temple from zelda. but with more tits.
Signed everyone in my dorm up for free samples of astroglyde. Took me an hour. Happy new years!!!!!
vagina is talking i cant
no sex. but he left me weed, so almost as good.
The maintenance guy at work just asked me out for a drink. For once, I proudly said that I was 20.
Woke up the next morning in an 8 year old's bedroom. Saw my bra swinging from the spiderman ceiling fan and decided it would be best to dip out w/o it.
I got a thank you card in the mail from the virgin i slept with on the camping trip. Weird or the new classy?
We get an extra hour of sleep. That means we can take an extra shot tonight. Sound logic. Thank you daylight savings.
New rule. Every time you and I have a disagreement that lasts longer than 10min, while in a bar, we'll have a shot. Figure we'll eventually start agreeing sooner rather than later...
He came over in a blaze orange vest with a case of beer and a shotgun yelling about "Dove Season" then passed out in the lawn. There he lies
Far too many of our conversations end in us talking about sperm
On your day off do you wanna get wine drunk and take a few episodes of Jerry Springer way too seriously with me?
He's ruined me. Do you know how frustrating it is to know I'll never find another guy as tall and handsome and rich with as big of lips & booty, and cock as him who also rims and takes me on tropical vacations and buys me all the cocaine.
Something tells me tonight will end with me wearing my pants on my head again.
I just learned that the grill marks on a Burger King burger patty are actually previously burnt on there with a radioactive spray-on liquid and McDonald's french fries are actually 5% potato.
Randomize
