I found the other part of your tooth if you want to put it under your pillow
I'm using my ex boyfriends dog to find a guy at the park I could see fuck buddy potential in. I'm the queen of irony.
I expect to be treated like a lady. Even If your sticking it in my ass.
I have Retrograde Ejaculation as a side effect from one of my meds. Is this a respectable form of birth control?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Penises. Penises everywhereeeeeeeee. Penis ratio is sooo disproportionate. I can't NOT get laid tonight.
we are sitting in a kindergarden classroom alone chugging beer. look at our lives. look at our choices.
How many vodka infused gummi bears count as 1 drink?
I think he's having people over to watch him get way too drunk again
I haven't been this unsober in a long time. I feel like I am observing myself. Like I am a test subject for alcohol. I wish my brain would shut up and let me be a normal drunk.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
At least I'm fat on the outside. You can NEVER change being fat on the inside.
Made it to my hair appointment on time, and got some dick. Today is already a great day
I don't think Buddha would recommend a sexscpade across Mexico
Angels sing when his face is between my thighs. I came 3 times before he even came up for air.
you know you're sexually deprived when you're holding a warm taquito in your hand and your vagina starts to tingle
I just thought I should tell you that I always know what you are doing. Everywhere. Every time. -Your loving Mother
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