hes so high that he's convinced hes a duck. hes squating in the bathtub quacking. that was NOT JUST pot.
I have way too much money in my bra to be responsible.
she broke up with me and one of her excuses was constant soreness... should I be sad or proud?
please don't text me until you can spell three letter words again.
Ya. I was the definition of a shit show. I woke up outside my door when my alarm went off
Yes theres a double standard. Get over it. Fuck the critics and go be the slut you were born to be
some people offered us free beer as long as we shotgunned it and after you shotgunned four without pausing they took their offer back
he just texted me saying he needs a place to stay for the night. pretty sure i just got booty called to my own house...
she's a nursing student, i didn't think vomit would freak her out so much
you puked ON HER
The feeling are messing with the penis
Does your body have a liquid mass index? does that make sense? I think I drank it in Long islands.. Kill me now..
Best part about a crippling state-wide drought? Actually having a valid excuse for not showering
What if for Halloween I paint my self gold and make sandwiches for everyone? I'd be a trophy wife! Get it?
I told you for Halloween we just need to let the loins free! Let the girth come to us in a flock, drenched with passion!
You are hungover. Your arguments are irrational an incoherent. We only played twice. Have some Gatorade and take a knee.
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