and all i could think was, am i really about to have sex with someone who still thinks that pee comes out of the actual vagina?
Oh my god. Just had sex with this girl on the boardroom table at my work at midnight (win!) just realized I left the condom wrapper on the table (lose!)
Now that the olympics are over we have no excuse for getting belligerently drunk for nationalism every night.
Apparently I kept telling the bartender that I was going to set the Guinness World Record.
Good cause the way I see it, we are down to DAYS left of college so we should have as much naked fun as possible. And Jenga really facilitates that.
I'm pretty sure I saw a man standing on a table with no shirt on getting sugar thrown at him while "pour some sugar on me" blaring while the cops were in the house.
All I remember is having a LONG talk with a 23 year old mother with a 5 year old kid at a bar who told me "it's not that bad"
I've given up for the day already. I just wanna eat cheesecake and hide from her.
should I tell them that both of them had sex with me last Saturday? it might be a relationship builder type of thing you know?
Well, thats the first guy to go to jail because of my vagina
Post that event on your timeline
She called his dick the colossus. I dont give a fuck if shes his wingman, I gotta see this natural wonder
No one parties "Full Karen". She once broke a couple up at the bar, ate the girl out in the bathroom and took the guy home.
He talked for 3 hours straight on how his dad is a dentist how fuck do you think my night was
She knew the head wasn't all that so she gave me her taco. I'm will in to give her a second chance.
He's just been a dick since he set his face on fire. I just wanted to eat a fucking hot dog.
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