We're hooking up, I have a toothbrush at her place, and yet on leaving her apartment a minute ago we said goodbye with a hi five. WTF?
You're upset about this?
i just googled the alphabet. i couldnt remember if it was jklomnop or jklmnop.
The only word I understood in that whole setence was semen.
Lil wasted at a baby shower. Here's to beating teen pregnancy BOTTOMS UP
so far we have 6 big wheels and 10 boxes of wine for the tour de franzia. team drunkslut is favored to win the yellow jersey.
In chronological order you drank, sang, smoked, napped, threw up, cried, laughed, described your pubic area, passed out. You have abused the privilege to use me as your D.D.
I wanna take him on a special date, something that says I banged your brother but since he moved I want you
woke up outside on the porch naked surrounded by beer cans with a towl around my neck. i must be in heaven cause i've never seen this place before.
Mcdonalds hasn't even finished serving breakfast yet and u two are getting drunk?
Just traded the drive-through guy at BK a Dos Equis for a Hershey pie before noon... win?
alright. I just need to set some ground rules, no lighting me on fire, and no broken bones. fair?
I threw up in a mitten on my drive home. Wow.
If I get aids I am starting a lawsuit against snapchat.
I'M SORRY THIS WAS SEXTING AND I MADE IT SERIOUS.
Updates: Made out with a teletubby last night in the middle of the street #lifegoals
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