apparently i'm the only person who has heard from her since saturday. she texted me "burt reynolds" at 2am sunday
I ate the snowman's head. That is not a drug euphemism.
I'm sorry for peeing on your door. But it was your decision to open it.
Can you please tell him to stop calling me ma'am? I'm starting to remember what it's like to have self respect
I like the odds of his and my children being professional athletes too. To support me in my old age, see I do think about the future.
I knew you would eventually ask my secret. Pedialite mix drinks. Works wonders.
in case you were wondering, even a BJ under a blanket on the back of a bus only lifts a 14-hour bus ride to borderline tolerable.
It's been a year of occasional hook ups....this was bound to happen sometime even with your jank ovary schedule.
The hookup that almost was... Both partys too drunk to migrate to the other.... the universe has won this one.
Also, I found out that my dad has the name of every boy that I've ever dated and their physical description, car type and tag number stored in his computer.
Apparently Angela went missing once and he says he learned were to look first and that it's best to have information on hand.
Apparently I send drunk snapchats a lot and they always have random dudes in them. Like one night it was just me and some guy I don't know sitting on my couch.
Peeing out the car window on the way home was a nice touch. In December, in Michigan, at 3am. Never seen a girl do that before. Neither had the guy in the minivan next to us.
You were peeing off the rooftop and told everyone sometimes you just gotta go
Uh oh we had sex and I don't think I like him anymore help
I am the oldest one here and I STILL feel like I need an adult. help.
Randomize
