I got to the point where it seemed like she had 8 giant breasts instead of just two
I no longer question where these bruises come from... between the strip pole in the living room, the slipnslide in the hallway and our constant level of intoxication I will always be bruised...
with your flexibility, and the size of my penis, amazing things are possible.
You spent about half an hour trying to convince me that mesh condoms were a good idea.
I have to be home in time to watch my friend on that Lifetime show about having babies. And by friend, I mean the girl I had a lesbian experience with at a party 3 years ago.
I'm sitting next to some random guy in a gorilla suit drinking out of a bottle of vodka.
He's majoring in Religion
You crawled through a doggy door 5 times for a shot if cheap vodka.
She was literally passed out in a cubicle with a flask in her hand. I LOVE finals week!
Ya I guess if we compared our actions now with our actions 2 years ago. We are definitely in a constant state of shit showness.
This juggling 3 dicks is getting exhausting
Hearing them have a conversation is like listening to water buffalo have sex. Awkward and scarring.
I think we need to stage an Intervention. Her Instagram is a call for help.
I've only fucked to 2 Fleetwood Mac songs, that must be why my life feels so empty.
Somehow reaching for the flaming hot cheetos ended up in the best sex of my life
I’m tired of his bullshit and premature ejaculation. I’m going to hotel bars and finding a guy who is DTF
Randomize
