Do you remember last night at all? Be honest
I need to look at the pictures on my camera to fill in the gaps.
why did they invent bidet's? your butt gets clean when your poop falls in the toilet and splashes up anyway...
why is allison so mad at me??
me and her walked into dans and you yelled "hello my dear alli, you're looking mighty overweight today!".
crap..
Going to pass out with da shoes on. hugging wallstreet journal from tuesday. please check me for liveliness in the morning.
my summer class's final was canceled bc it interfered with the world cup. he is giving us all A's on it. I love europe
just caught a 10 year old kid staring at my dick next to me in the urinal. i just nodded to him and said yeah, mines bigger little dude. i gotta stop drinking in public....
That haircut screams I'm 35 but I still eat pussy.
considering how much of last night I don't remember and the amount of ones laying on my desk right now, it's safe to say I'm concerned
I meant to tell you earlier: bad life decision saturday has been moved wednesday this week
Is it sad I don't want to go buy $1 Mac-n-cheese cause I need to pay rent... I'm re-naming this college.
Also, peanut butter on a spoon dinner is back in existence and it is good.
It's been hot as balls outside. It's like getting tea bagged by the Sun.
He offered to buy me free breakfast if I stayed at the hotel overnight with him. I then realized they have a complimentary breakfast.
don't take this the wrong way, but I'm not drunk but I need you to take me to the ER and you're the most likely to not be drunk now.
I've never met a penis that didn't think I was awesome.
Went online to check my credit card... $147.87 at Waffle House. $632.36 at "Red Rose Gentleman's Club" and a $1000 cash advance from an ATM. I may no longer be a fiancé.
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