It's official. Every single female in their late teens and early 20s get their fb statuses from a pool of cliched "quotes" which all say, without saying, "boys treat me like shit, I know they do, but one day I'll find 'the guy' who will treat me right no matter how psychotic I am." Vom.
sorry for making everyone realize you look like bruce jenner
Now she's making me sit here and look at pictures of guys she likes who look like bears. She's calling them her bear friends.
I never thought I'd say this, but there is a life threatening amount of rumpleminz in our freezer
Am I undercharging for one hour of sex per essay? I need a serious business answer.
I decided they need a food cart that just roams around the library like the cotton candy people at the circus. But with real food. like tacos cause it sounds delicious.
Its only 9:11 and I just somersaulted through a window. Its gonna be a good night
We're gonna have screwdrivers in a cab at 4am?
Is that weird?
I'm about to take my 7th shot and I have to to go to dinner with my grandma in an half hour. What is my life.
Odd start to the day - the FBI just showed up at my apartment.
Not saying I'm a lesbian. Just saying that every time she walks by I wanna scissor her
Well my mom knows that the welt I had on my forehead last month was the result of a sex accident. This holiday sucks
I feel like ditching all logic and responsibility and get shit-faced before the week's over. Thoughts?
And then she proceeded to tell us that blowing your brother made her feel like part of the family. At this point you were still pretending to be a cat. Need I give another reason she can't live with us?
You threw a beachball full of vodka at me and yelled I CHOOSE YOU then ran
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