the line for where the wild things are looks like radiohead had sex with an urban outfitters
my text book just quoted the cookie monster
giving a 30 min presentation still drunk is like giving birth, upside down in a pit of snakes while being on fire.
no, literally. he fb chatted me and said "since you're online i figured we could bang tonight?"
Once again there IS no outside bathroom. Never has been, that is the balcony
theres pictures of him knuckle deep in her, both of them thumbs up and cheesin. someone should take her kid away
She loves introducing her friends to my foreskin.
My gay card got upgraded to platinum status today.
Opened the browser on my phone to a web search for midget birth rates per capita. A good night.
I felt kinda awkward walking into his house in nothing but lingerie and my dead grandmas overcoat
I met a guy last night who bought me a book on Amazon at the bar and then we had sex. Boners for books is a thing. Boom.
I'm a grown ass woman. Treat me like one. Fuckboy
We're going to get naked and build a fort instead. HAPPY NEW YEAR!
I can't be sure but I think I slept with a clown last night...
My theme for the night was drink diego drink! Unfortunately Dora was not there to navigate me to the bathroom
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