My mom foundout about my dui nd just called me to come home. I just took acid like 30 min ago. Wht should i do?
dude on moped wearing crocs...somebody get this guy his man card back
dude your girlfriend loves you alot..she yelled your name lastnight in bed
while being fingered today, I was told I have an abnormally deep g-spot. Now you know, I am a size queen because of SCIENCE.
I met her at the liquor store. I hope I'm wearing a condom
I take your lack of response to mean that your hands are taped to 40 ounces of something.
Are we going out tonight?
My conscience says no but my vag says yes
No, I've only ever seen his brother's dick. So when I have lucid sex dreams, I just do a little cut and paste in my mind and stick his bro's package onto him.
Burnt myself on soup.. consencus go back to hospl. they will lov me. twins in one nigh. still hve band on. fuck
I got my project done and a booty call in all before 1am. I'm a professional college kid.
You made out with two different species that night
One of the annoying girls in my 7 AM class showed up drunk for her 21st birthday and just auctioned off her fake ID.
"I wonder if vinegar is some sort of magical hangover cure" "...no I was definitely still drunk and drinking vinegar because I was thirsty"
Never thought I'd see the day when I got assless chaps in the mail, and yet here we are...
You're going to literally shit your fucking unholy pants when Jesus rides in with his dual light-sabers on his velociraptor and cleaves you in half.
Randomize
