You hook up with other guys, let him talk to other girls.
no
I bet he comes in French.
Nothings more american than taking a shit with a handgun next to you.
Why is it people are always in costumes on Cheaters these days? Joe Greco literally just said, "It appears they get chased by a chicken with a chainsaw." WTF?
When you started Hi-fiving people I knew u were fucking gone. You slapped some dude on the shoulder when he wouldn't hi-five you and he asked if he even knew you
Dont ask, hes out back rolling around in the yard freaking out. literally just had a 15 minute conversation, only word i could make out was "yellow"
This is to remind you the pizza is in the dishwasher birthday boy eat it before it goes on
It's an "im going to have to shit with the lights off" type of morning
Slutty summer 2013 has officially started. I did accidentally bite a dick though.
Is it a bad thing that I've made out with everybody I work with?
No one parties "Full Karen". She once broke a couple up at the bar, ate the girl out in the bathroom and took the guy home.
i tried to propose to him with my nipple ring but i couldnt figure out how to take it out
New Serial podcast is out. We can listen to it tonight instead of having sex.
He asked me to come stay with him so he could "see that ass and watch Harry Potter."
My mom just asked if I wanted a mimosa when I got out of the bath.
I think everything's gonna be okay.
Randomize
