also, i may or may not be wearing a cape right now. hint: i am.
I have a feeling that after last night, i'm not just going to hell. i'm going to hell on a full scholarship. free admission bitches
She tried to keep her legs crossed last night while doing a keg stand. Way to keep it classy.
I'm having post traumatic stress flashbacks of last night. That big. Don't know whether to call him again or change my name...
i just saw some one pass a baby through the drive-thru window at dairy queen.
FridayRule: If it takes you longer than 5 minutes to find a parking spot, you don't have class today
Well, I found the missing blow... in my fucking suitcase... THIS MORNING. Yeah, I flew from FL to NY with blow in my suitcase yesterday.
I told you to check, dude
Yeah, AFTER I checked my bag and I was already sitting on a plane. Oh well. I figured worst case I'd do like 15 hours in county and I was totally prepared for that anyways. I always prepare for that when we hang out.
Oh jesus...leave it to you to hit on not one but two guys who can't fuck you till marriage.
Well right but if we go, he may just disappear for a long time into the unknown with the drag queens.
Ps I think male models just broke down outside or maybe gay German sex travelers
Also there's so much vodka on my breath that if I blew on my fingers my nail polish would fall right off
It's official. Post baseball sex is better than post hockey sex. I hope the Blue Jays win the world series.
I don't know why I bit your face last night but I'm sorry .
How is it that 364 days a year I'm the adult, but on Halloween you completely forget how to have fun and become my grandma?
ok so you're 100% sure this time that he isn't your ex in disguise again?
Randomize
