i like that octo mom she is my favorite xmen
I had a dream last night where you were a transsexual in a low cut blue dress with lovely long brown hair. You were very pretty. I hope you are well.
is sleeping with your Political Science professor Politically incorrect?
Was he helping you 'cram' for your final, or just giving an oral exam?
I don't wanna hook up with anyone from minnesota
everybody there reminds me of mashed potatoes... white and lumpy
This smoking ban is really fucking with my ability to fart in public
my secret santa just gave me a pregency test
all i care about is the story behind my toaster ending up in the microwave
Cause your way of greeting people at the club was grabbing a tit and jiggling it while yelling a name, which usually wasn't theirs, and guys weren't safe either.
i got two bottles of merlot and sorrows to drown, you in??
OH MY GOD I CAN'T WAIT TO BONE YOUR EX BOYFRIEND. HOW AWKWARD IS THIS?
He put crushed up bacon in the joint and now we're listening to the Matilda soundtrack I have no idea what's going on
I taught her to play Monopoly. She sold me her bra to keep from going bankrupt.
My husband gave me a key to his house. I thinks this means we're getting kinda serious.
Pretty good. Thinking about getting day drunk and filling out job applications so I don't hate myself as much
dude. that's the chick that BIT MY DICK. it doesn't matter how hot you think she is, trust me man.
Randomize
