i knew it was time to break up with him once he pulled out the Halo foreplay costumes
the problem with open bar is i never know what to get
did you really just start a sentence with "the problem with open bar is..."
Just kicked a guy in his penis in order to win a dance contest on Bourbon....desperate.
Saw someone get laid in the bathroom no one was wearing shoes and I had a parrot on my shoulder...I never want to leave this bar
Um...celebrating is an understatement. You flashed the guy at the mexican restaurant and then screamed, "It's just my bikini, I swear!"
This election needs to be over, im tired of girls asking who im going to vote for mid hookup
Just found the last picture of me as a virgin. Framed it.
I'm hurting so bad I actially had to wait for my mini wheats to get soggy before I could eat them..
My heart stopped for a sec, but I snorted what I believe was cocaine off the floor, and I'm back in the fight
Panda onesie. Pizza. Netflix. Wrapped up like a burrito. Screw you guys and your cute relationships THIS IS WHAT INFINITE HAPPINESS TASTES LIKE
She had a belly button piercing in the shape of a cross. Talk about mixed messages.
You told everyone to shut up then told the officer that you are 21 when you drink.
I frew up on some kids lovely sidealk chald drawings..
My life is just a trash fire of work and Japanese video games now
If it's any consolation she turned out to be has a collection of clown dolls she talks to crazy. And the cops knew why I was calling when she key locked the door from inside.
Randomize
