The 3 of us think it's time to start drinking.
3?
Me, myself and I
You were face down, at your computer, surrounded by beer bottles listening a bagpipes version of amazing grace.
Just did my hair and make up at mcdonalds so we're in the same boat.
We pulled over so he could pee and the next thing I know he's running down the hill by himself with his pants down
At some point I'd like to figure out how the weird kid from sociology ended up on my couch naked hugging what appears to be some sort of clothing....seriously it's creeping me out
The amount of guys who just came into the room to give me a high five after hooking up with him was about 5 too many.
They told you that you couldn't fit in the dryer. Man, did they eat their words. You did brake the door though.
Look, the fact that I didn't kick him out and rip your clothes off speaks very highly of me.
I think I'm still a little drunk from Sunday Funday and I just changed for a date in my car. wish me luck.
I asked if I could borrow some condoms. She referred to herself as "a soup kitchen for whores".
I am a murderer. I ran over so many baby frogs. I wanted to stop and pick some up to take home, but all I have is a wine bottle. I'd hate to explain that to a cop.
When I die I just want my headstone to my name, date of birth-death, and TEQUILA!!
Your drunk naked friend is roaming the living room. Started roaming my room. Please come retrieve him
I had fresh baked oatmeal cookies, tacos AND was on deck to give a stellar blow job. You'd think that'd be a win/win/win situation.
I love him about as much as I'd love fucking myself with a cactus.
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