My secretary told me she wishes she can have an affair with someone in the office (she's separated from her cheating husband)...Umm...Okaaay
the guy I was hooking up with asked me if he could wear a guerilla suit during sex.
he spent the whole night trying to convince me into a2m. i won't even use the pb til i clean the jelly knife. i love him but it's not going to happen.
just opened a can of spagetti o's with a butter knife. the things u will do for food when ur stoned.
He came in asked for the bathroom and came out 10 minutes later dripping wet took his redbull and left.
hell no. last time, i couldn't pee straight for a week.
we're tailgating intramural basketball with hard drugs and tequila...and i think the players are taking shrooms
Lol. No. We cannot eat chicken while we have sex. No.
This may be hard to believe, but that wasn't the first time I was fingered under a snuggie
It's not
Its a sick, sad, world when parents get more ass then you.
I'll feed you vitamin c from my mouth this weekend. Like a baby bird.
Promise??
dude...i punched my best friend in the face, broke up with my girlfriend, and shit my pants.......now i don't know which one to take care of first.
i think i puked but i couldve been a dream and i may have madeout with a 20 something guy infront of my managers...also possible dream.
I couldn't be more proud to be a cougar. Just wondering how these twenty somethings learned how to fuck so well? Must be porn.
Laying in bed naked is fun. I now see why guys love boobs... They're sooo bouncy! This long distance relationship is really killing my sex life.
Randomize
