i hope the fucking fire crotch burns his mouth
I owe all of my success to double stuf oreos and weed.
Just saw a guy from Kansas and a guy from Nebraska arguing over who had less of an accent. God Bless the Midwest.
dude she was givin me head and stops and looks up at me and tells me she loves me, then goes ''alright now cum in my mouth''.... pretty sure shes the one
Housing is going to charge us for any broken dishes/glassware. Steal as many glasses as you can from the bars tonight. I got the baking dish and 3 plates covered.
No, that was the night I was sneezing out barf
Then he said something about how from that angle I looked just like his mom.
He managed to tell me he was blind in one eye and convince me to have sex with him in the same conversation. It's love.
Sorry I never got back to you, I ended up at a party with pot ice cream, pot apple cider, and hash vegetable oil.
Why is there an ambulance refusal in my pocket? I'm never going drinking with you again.
STOP LICKING HIS MUSTACHE
You invited the cop in for a "Celebrity shot"
NO. FUCK YOU. I HOPE SOMEONE REPLACES YOUR LUBE WITH HOT SAUCE.
Shia LaBeouf arrested in austin for public intoxication. JUST DO IT
you know my pussy doesn't know between good and evil
Randomize
