I just told her she was a heartbeat above a blowup doll.
oh yeah I'm gonna practice throwing up so I can be ready for Friday night. and Saturday. Beth is back, diaper and all.
You expect me to find someone in two days who I feel comfortable enough with to ask them to get drunk and go play in foam with me?
He told me since I'm into organics I should know his meat is known locally for its quality and hes hand raised it since age 13.
You're either a hooker or Beyonce. Beyonce is abnormally good at doing everything in heels
I hear sloppy seconds go great with fried rice
Post walk of shame: realized the underwear I put on when I left was another girl's underwear.... woof
I didn't punch him it was just love coming out of my fist
Sorry. My phone died in the middle of you explaining why we would never work as a couple. Whatever you were gonna say, I probably agree.
I found my limit. I will not, in fact, blow my 78 year old professor for an A in his class.
So by "wait for me" do you think he meant "Don't have sex with random dentists?"
Conference sex doesn't count if the dentist doesn't know your name.
Dude, she set my Tinder preference to men, set the radius to 100 miles, and used up all of my right swipes. I think she's mad.
Partying with my eighth grade history teacher I know you're jealous
We're sort of like brothers. Except with more sexual tension. And we don't look alike. Or are related.
So we're not much like brothers really.
she wouldnt leave because they were playing One Direction. I'm dating a thirteen year old.
Randomize
