Please tell me you did not just serenade her with "Let's Get it On"?
Yeah I think it worked. My penis thanks you, Captain Morgan.
I gave them both handjobs at the same time. Felt like I was skiing
she went to her friend's wedding and caught the bouquet. as the unwilling rebound, can i run away now?
It's confirmed. We did xmas carol the grocery store across the street from his building at 2:30am... Only the staff was there.
all i care about is the story behind my toaster ending up in the microwave
I'm fucking an ugly guy. Don't come home.
well now I have to
She called it a palate cleanser. She and her friend dike it out once a year before returning to dick
Together or do they pick up? How far do they go? IS AN AUDIENCE PERMITTED? GODAMIT ANSWERS MAN!!!!!!
Yeah that's a good idea.. I like to be responsible when I trip my nuts off
All he gave me was a sore vagina and film suggestions
It's a long story, but I accidentally peed on my dog. I'll tell you about it tomorrow, and we shall never tell my wife.
He'd never survive you. Is there a boot camp for pre-heather training?
Thank you for coming with me today. I find it appropriate that we celebrated my negative pregnancy test with slurpees and donuts.
We keep making plans but he keeps getting arrested. Such a tease
I woke up next to a Big Mac box.. And had no sheets or clothes on. The night was a success I think.
can we do this tomorrow? ...i accidently got high.
Randomize
