Thanks for last night it was amazing as always
What are you talking about
You've got to be kidding me
Latenightwjoannablackberrywontletmespaceitknowsimdrunk
You did not just nickname me "Nipples".
I just found your spare underwear and the half eaten granola bar you left in my purse.
Odd question. Did you find a 20 in your boxers? I need it for gas.
Sorry there's no emoticon for I got my period all over a guy's bed so I had to improvise. There isn't even a bed one
If 26 stitches didn't sober her up, nothing will.
Hey please buy toilet paper today. Plastic grocery bags are starting to hurt now
He just had a handle of vodka with ice in it yelling at people hot august night mother fuckaaaaa and was pouring it on his face
drunk grocery shopping was not as bad of an idea as i thought, this salmon cat food tastes a lot like tuna
i just had to pick up my 18 year old cousin from the police station for hosting a party, and i had to do this stoned wow
She had a glow in the dark pastie on her forehead the last time I saw her. That should help you find her.
Good morning love! Friendly reminder that we decided to make leggings with a vagina zipper. "For the winter quickie"
I think I just read the whole internet. Front to back.
It's a weird kind of sexy when a guy has a bunkbed with his roommate
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