the guy I was hooking up with asked me if he could wear a guerilla suit during sex.
i am watching brooke knows best right now and hulk is totally dating his daughter's look a like. it is gross and disturbing.
the most pressuring question is, why are you watching brooke knows best?.
if this week's events in iraq have taught me anything, it's that when pulling out, always expect a mess...
so I woke up and found tortilla in my belly button
Someone sharpied 'shit show' on my tits. Someone with excellent penmanship
I'm glad we are bonding over both contracting clamidya. Winners.
100%
I hate that you live in a gated community. I feel your guard judges me every time I go to your house at 3 am an leave at 5am
Btw I don't have words to express my appreciation at how many times you've had to be on a dirty bar bathroom floor for me in the past two weeks
I just want to be covered in whipped cream and spanked, is that too much to ask?
My roommates call me "Queen of the Skanks" I guess that means I've had a successful first month of college.
I rather not break my neck. It's hard to look sexy with a neck cast.
Also, your girlfriend apologized to me about yesterday. That was nice of the cunt.
I just kept hitting the drum to get thru the crowd to the bar. Surprisingly it worked
I kinda just want to steal him and keep him forever
Tonight I totally got eaten out in the old school photo booth in the mall. Will send you pics of the photo reel asap
Randomize
