batman tramp stamp. Dibs.
Dude, I just spun my iPhone on my boner without it falling off. I belong in cirque du soleil.
is it possible for your nipples to fall off? if so mine might. they hurt so bad...
She took off her pants and it was like seeing an old friend.
I had fun. Till he melissa etheridged my ass and came to my window.
This guy either needs to stop touching me or buy me another drink.
So in Aca Taco on grad night 1am, this bitch walks in alone drunk as fuck in her gown to the front of the line and says, "I graduated today...thank YOU"
He said i got a new job lets blow this money he bought 4 bottles at the club he is now crying after seeing the reciept
Watch out, there's a giant vagina in the quad running around screaming at people.
My vagina is screaming your name . Wtf did you do to it
Did I mention I hooked up with another country star? I think I need some sort of trophy for each time, yah know? Or like a sash and I win a badge or patch for each person. Like a slutty Girl Scout.
my entire left arm went numb
you need to get that checked to make sure you're not wired to have strokes instead of orgasms
Take home message: SPERM IS EVIL AND SHOULD NEVER EVER EVER BE ALLOWED UP ONE'S NOSE.
Just got a handjob in my psych lecture. You were right, going to class is paying off.
I feel like I have the I just lost my virginity face and everyone at the grocery store knows it.
Randomize
