Soooo billy mays was on coke. I'm about as shocked as I was when Clay Aiken came out
The look your mother gives you when she sees you masterbating on web cam is unlike any I've seen before, but this is a case where, I would say, ignorance is bliss.
don't get me wrong, i love how you're fun and free spirited. but there are some situations...like shooting down a bottle of sambuca standing in the shallow end topless surrounded by my friends
I'm high, and her 2,100 tagged pictures annoy me even MORE. I wish it had a google searchbar so I could type in "cleavage pics" to get to the point.
He booked us a hotel at a resort in cancun for sprng break... I just wanted to get laid this weekend when i was blackout i didnt know it was gonna spiral into a mess of events like a 5 month in advance commitment
The second I saw you stumbling down the stairs in a princess crown, I knew I had a friend for life.
When you passed out on the kitchen counter she brushed and flossed your teeth, then carried/dragged you to bed. Why aren't you married?
I can't turn my head to the left, I'm pissing out of my ass, and my finger went through the toilet paper today... I need you.
How do I discreetly dispose of sex toy packaging that is recyclable? What to do...what to do?
Apparently getting a blow job in the mens room from the bar owners daughter will get you kicked out.
idk about you, but when i sext i just hit em with the "yo lets bang" text
I'm topless, wearing a fur coat, stink of sex, and eating dim sum. 2015 is off to a great start.
I tried to feed the cat bread. I told her it was the body of Christ. That seemed to work.
You don't have a cat...
So I missed the eclipse because I was masturbating.
there is another microwave in the elevator.
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