I feel like if I were on Intervention, I would have to be a season finale.
Stop trying to talk to my friends!!
then get some ugly ones...
There's nothing like puking in the airport on the way TO Vegas. Something tells me i pregamed a little too hard.
We just made a drinking game out of our chemistry review. This might explain my chemistry grade.
he told me he was a chubby chaser.. then winked. i'm signing up for a gym pass as we speak
The druken crowd just broke into singing "God Bless America" while waiting the newlyweds to get in the limo. My friend is eating rose petals.
Jail wasn't bad. Was poppin Xanax the whole way there
You crawled through a doggy door 5 times for a shot if cheap vodka.
First week back and I made to one class, its gonna be okay after all.
Called my ex last night, told her I wanted to bang like we use too, her fiance was in the car, I was on speaker phone. NO MORE TEQUILA!
Did she say Ok?
I just slammed another champagne, swaggered over to her, pointed across the room at the 20 y/o lacrosse player and whispered loudly, "I brought that one for YOU." I'm getting a raise.
I wanted him to come me this time. So I told him last time I was in the city I hit a lady on the head with an inflatable Santa Claus and just found out that the restraining order she requested against me was granted. We never hung out.
Not sure if you're still doing the whole "sleeping with only one person" thing but if you're not we should sleep together when I get back in town tonight.
You called it motorboating but you just snot rocketed into my tits.
no we just smoked too much weed and listened to the tarzan soundtrack. phil collins is amazing
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