Liz and I are now offficially highest. OH, and your girlfriend may be a vampire. Heads up. SPARKLESSSSS
Put my glitter back.
I just saw a neon sign in a bar window that says, "open to Public" but the L is burnt out.
He asked me why my bellybutton was so ugly... and wondered why i wasnt in the mood anymore.
This adderall has me convinced I'm an Econ major.
yeah they are definitely having sex in that car. joe just yelled through the window telling them to do the "titanic hand print thing"
This theraflu would make for a great margarita.
I can make a sudafedarita
i think we should start 2012 by becoming clean and sober for awhile and buckle down
ppsyche im wasted where are you
So we'll go out later for condoms and cake batter... aka grocery shopping for champions.
i woke up this morning and saw her in my bed and i said to myself, I think I might have a drinking problem.
All I'm sayin is that I don't want to raise anything. Or deal with anything. Or having anything come out of my vagina. I mean, I don't think that's asking too much.
Maybe you can just make seal noises during sex and we can call it good
At the ER. John needs stiches. Fuck pub trivia nights.
remember when I lost my virginity and said I could see myself becoming a sex addict?? Well I'm pretty sure that time has come
Why are you naked at 4pm?
Its my birthday, I dont have to wear clothes
While finding our clothes afterwards he says..."So do we like have to talk after this?"
Randomize
