What would you say if someone told you they liked your lips?
Which ones?
suddenly, hermaphrodite night sounds like a really bad idea
All she said was "the usual?" and unzipped my pants.
I have jerked off in every room in your house. *the more you know
You have to understand, he didn't so much come out of the closet as he backflipped out of it with an accompanying marching band.
AND I JUST GOT FUCKING DAUGHTER ZONED. NO. I'M DONE. I HATE BOYS. ASEXUALITY HERE I COME.
and then i signed some dudes back with a turkey hand print in honor of thanksgiving
A 74 year old man offered to let me sleep on his pull out couch last night.
You looked at me, said I was a nice guy. Then you drunkenly climbed on top of me and said you liked me and wanted me.
Someone the age of your son tried to go home with me from the bar last night
Your normalization of crazy is frightening.
I may or may not of seen my high school physics teacher making out with my old high school boyfriend at the bar last night
I was randomly pulled aside to have my bag checked. It had 50 condoms in it.
gave up morals for lent, so far it's actually been really easy.
thank god my bra was in my purse... were all good
Randomize
