I know right? mind you this is the same woman who told me when I was 12 that oral sex just meant talking dirty
i guess its not very common for a paramedic to have to revive someone who was struck by a falling shampoo bottle while getting off from the bathtub faucet.
i went to throw her on my bed and threw her straight in to my bike
I might have a beer. Just to keep this hangover on its toes.
We'll probably be arrested for having a cheetah in our apartment anyway, so I say go for it.
Honestly, I don't care whether it was a guy or a girl. Best blowjob ever.
there is nothing like a happy birthday present when you wake up with a bow on your vagina.
there's a guy in the del taco parking lot doing pushups. let's be his friends
Out of control sex drive for a girl? I just masturbated in the bathroom at my in-laws house before dinner....
We need to get stoned and watch Teenage Mutant Ninja Turtles 2. This has become a priority. Schedule accordingly.
He sent me a dick pic from work, but I could see all the pizzas in the background. Now I'm just hungry.
I can't believe I'm coordinating a threesome at work. My productivity is at an all time low.
its times like this i wish i didnt have a penis
I was so drunk I got motion sickness from sex.
hey, just so we're clear, next time we go swimming drunk at my house, we have to use the floating chairs instead of my mattress. i'm not sure how to get it out of the pool.
Randomize
