just saw a guy throwing up in the urinal at Dennys. Either he had one hell of last night or we are going to eat somewhere else
Don't forget your talking to the guy who got arrested for throwing beads back at the Mardi Gras floats. You can't deny that's a first, and neither could that cop.
After three games of beer pong ending in victory by death cup, all four of us bonded in the fact that we all slept with the girl's boyfriend at some point in time in the past year. She had no idea.
Yehhhaaww I'm way ahead of you. I'm gunna get her a card that says " I'm sorry your now ex boyfriend decided to upgrade"
Tried to figure out where I was without opening my eyes this morning for like twenty minutes. Not even close. Not even the right state.
No she probably looked into my aura and saw that my penis would ruin her.
Can I get that on a shirt
Apparently we stole a dog last night. I woke up and it was just staring at me. But we fed it left over KFC for breakfast so it's cool.
I may have unintentionally punched your cat twice but he's an asshole anyway.
This text constitutes a formal request for sexual congress under the terms of our Relationship Agreement.
Well I'm sorry I assumed you were a human and that humans have the capability to forget sometimes.
Knew i was going to puke. So i grabed a bowl out of the kitcken in the dark before bed...Ended up puking into a spaghetti strainer...
Dude I had sex with her and she STILL thinks I'm gay. I don't know what else to do.
I'm not drinking for the rest of the week. I need discipline, celery, dick, and a bible.
We told the cop that we were playing soccer, in flip flops, and 2:30 in the morning. It was raining and i had board shorts on. He bought it, lets go get drunk
it will be a surprise...all I can say is stripper clown.
Randomize
