we were taking shots of hot tequila, which is even worse than it sounds
dude, she masturbates with a ken doll.
Sunscreen. In my vag. I hate summer sex.
At victory brunch. Have a decent story. Im now eskimo brother with the duke mens basketball teams from 2002 to 2008 and obamas right hand man
I found out you can't leave the bar with a drink. I also found out that pouring it on the bouncers shoes is also unacceptable.
High enough to ask the woman at best buy if she ever feels like she's swimming. and telling the man outside that he smells like happy juice.
I have to be more responsible. I've dropped three lighters into my bong today.
I ate shrooms on a frozen river in an ice fishing shack after a day of vics and beer and walked around on the river in a stupor. They made me bite the head off of a fish.
I feel awkward giving career advice while naked
I just walked out of the side door of the bar to come in the front door so no one would know I've been here drinking before our work meeting.
Not my lover. I would rather lose all my teeth, and I fucking love my teeth.
I'm wearing a sports bra. Of course I'm not getting laid tonight.
OMG OMG OMG I just throwed up in his pillow case when he wentto start the sho wer, time to grab my bra and bounce!!!
Wow.
So I have three weeks to get rid of his girlfriend and fuck him senseless before he goes to jail
Our livers are going to hate us.
It's okay, they're regenerative. God wanted this.
Randomize
