I skipped work to stalk him.
If it makes you feel better, you're better at taking it in than ass than she is...
Well...yeah actually, that does make me feel better
You dropped me off at the wrong girl's house.
There's no such thing as a "wrong girl" make it happen.
alright see you in the morning.
you would not believe what I got pierced last night...
son, I feel like that is a phrase a father never wants to hear.
I just found out me and my parents buy from the same drug dealer.
you should get a family discount.
How did your new apartment party go last night?
I'm really happy i have a bigger bathroom to puke in.
Please don't ever try giving my cat a hair cut ever ever again
Second day of summer classes and i already got this girl to send me nudes during class
that is WHY your in summer classes
worth it
Carson kissed me on my cold sore before I could stop him so I think I gave my kid herpes. Mom of the year. Just call me MOTY.
My walk of shame was 2 miles of feathers flying off of me, underwear in hand, and a homeless man telling me he'd pray for me. It was gold medal worthy.
I told him he was like my favorite pair of jeans; I may not wear them every day, but I'll never get rid of them and they make my ass look fantastic. Needless to say he was not thrilled.
All I remember is while we were making out M.A.A.D City came on so I pushed him off of me so I could rap along.
2015 is a year for health and mental stability and alas we are not yet there so yolo
Um, when I went down on you it got stuck there. Still had gum in my mouth. Didn't exactly have use of my hands to assist
just saw the most amazing side boob. i wanted to hold it.
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