His parents had a bottle of captain morgan on the table for me when I went for dinner. I feel accepted
I don't remember. I think I elluded to the fact that I would buy him a dildo for his birthday.
I'll be there in 5 min. If not, read this again.
So many lesbians keep hitting on me. I'm about to give up and just go home with the manliest one.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
So as I left the Australian's hotel room, I said "Welcome to America. You're going to do just fine here."
The lady sitting right behind me on the bus has baby birds in her purse. Shes feeding them bugs from a cup with a pair of tweezers... I love san francisco!
We are going to get high as balls and watch netflix
THIS IS WHAT BEING AN ADULT LOOKS LIKE
Just walked in on him banging another girl. He told me " sorry but I'm gonna finish now that I'm caught" ...... I think this is the reason god gave me four older brothers....
We couldn't find the paddle I had gotten so he just spanked with my tennis raquet
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Powdered alcohol is a real thing now. Move over crystal light... Water bottles rejoice!!
Cause I'll toss Tabasco sauce in his eyes and yell "Cobra attack" and walk away
There are peanut butter donuts now. We are playing with forces we can't possibly understand.
I remember the Prince Albert and the three penises in the threesome. But the rest no.
For the love of god, if any of you are up, bring me pants.
I was running because his wife invited me to join them on their kinky Vegas weekend. Crossing state lines is too much commitment for me.
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