DUDE DUDE I JUST GOT TH E BEST IDEA FOR A CHILDRENS BOOK "If You Give A Girl A Blow Job"
oh fat girl friday strikes again...
both the worst and best vomit ever... it was extra chunky and thick cause of the sausage... but it also tasted like delicious sausage... also cause of the sausage
I need a good reason NOT to eat this entire jar of nutella right now
And im sorry for wishing your girlfriend gets genital warts.
Are you scared? I basically plan on us looking like giant drunk skittles
I'll probably just lay on my couch bra-less sipping wine out of a straw so I don't have to lift my head.
So you met him?
More like I walked in on him, drunk, naked, and doing "bathtub yoga". Please stop bringing your dates home.
If you do wifi you would be helping my penis out & real friends care about their friends penises...
When Dad gets to your house, ask him about the sound of anal beads. Happy Thanksgiving!
Things he has managed to cum on so far on spring break: my bikini, my back-up bikini, three of my four bras, two pairs of panties, four beds, six chairs, the floor of several hotel rooms, the window/door to the balcony from both sides, my tits, my face, my stomach, his stomach, my ass, his best friend's girlfriend's face, and his best friend's dick.
Just FYI spring break is over and you're supposed to be back in class but hey sounds like you had your orgy so congrats.
I'm eating chicken wings naked and hungover at 10am... Happy bday to me
I was so drunk I asked my mom if she had always been my mom or if it was someone else for a while
Oh my fucking god!! There is a barefoot white guy with a fucking ninja sword in the middle of the street next to the pride gas station swinging his sword at peoples cars!! He almost got me. 3 people swerved off the road and stopped. I told a cop.
OMG also, I'm sorry I tased you a lil
Randomize
