Ana's brother is visiting for the wknd. He came back to our place last night drunk to find me passed out naked it in the shower with the water still running. I was still drunk. We decided it was a good idea to have sex and sleep on the bathroom floor. Woke up this morning spooning and using my towel as a pillow.
Do you think Conan would leave his wife for me?
i wonder if i could find a boyfriend who would call me big papa
sure if you go to prison
i find it simply astounding you spelled drunken wrong but pterodactyl right
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
dont try to nair your balls. i speak from experience
He came in asked for the bathroom and came out 10 minutes later dripping wet took his redbull and left.
Yea, you were talking about how you did not want to be a reindeer for at least 5 minutes.
He crawled over to me grabbed my boob asked me if I liked cats and then passed out. If that's really my RA, it's gonna be a long year
That's the saddest description of touching yourself I've heard since someone said "I was just lazily rubbing my clitoris while eating Cheetos alone"
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
i'm exhausted. do you know how hard it is to put together an outfit that is professional enough to secure a babysitting job yet slutty enough to let him know i'm down for sex during naptime?
official rule: if your drunk, it doesn't count
then nothing in my life counts
Haunted Houses: fun, lame, or love to sneak off and get fingered in the dark alley way?
I went over to help her build a porch, but we decided that was too much work, so we just got high and watched Scooby Doo
He wants me to tell you "my boner misses you"
It's not my fault you decided to fall in love with a Frodo Baggins lookalike
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