Just saw a policeman use his lights to go through a red light only to turn them off and go to Sonic...
thank you for a lively/lovely evening :)
should have blown me.
We learned a valuable lesson from last night. You can, in fact, order bacon on a Big Mac.
So im at the gym and some guy has a tattoo of a hand doing the shocker... The douche bag bar has been raised yet again.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i forgot how awkward it is to meet new people sober
taking shots each time the weatherman says Dont go out in this blizzard
I just used an app to identify a song that was playing in the background of a porno. May god bless your soul steve jobs.
Do you remember snorting allspice and yelling at doughnut shop girl?
Some guy just drank alcohol from me shoe..I think he's had enough..
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
This was the first time I've ever pushed myself until I vomited. Sorry, random couple laying on a dock at 8:30am. I would have picked a better spot so you didn't have to watch/listen to me vomit, but you guys were being MAD quiet. I had no idea you were there.
I used my iced coffee to ice the bump on my head from last night
I didn't see her "bad karma" tattoo until after I was balls deep
where are my pants?
in the oven.
stupid neighbors doing stupid yard work with their stupid kids when i want to do drugs in the backyard
Ok so I need a recap of last night...
YOU SPENT SIX DOLLARS AT NICKEL BEER NIGHT!!! How's that
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