those girls across the street saw me hanging my towel off of my penis...they're coming over later
So..he puked on my dress and I had to walk back to the dorms in his little sisters Scooby Doo pajamas.
I don't know you.
we literally spent four hours convincing you that all 5 of your toes were there. no more everclear on a tuesday.
I'm gonna vom. In the dentist chair. Who makes a dentist appt for July fucking 5th.
some dude is stoned out of his mind in my calc class. just shouted that the teacher was a genius cause he got rid of so many numbers
someone who i have in my phone as thundercock just said he was DTF
there is something about beer and popsicles that make the world go round
She was into my hawaiian shirt and id never made out with a dinosaur... I feel like it worked out for everyone
Is it bad juju to glue mini budda to the bottom of a shot glass
I offered him midol and told him "it always helps my period so maybe it'll help yours"
I thought I was bad, the girl next to me on the bench was feeding a bush a hamburger and introduced me. Only at lollapalooza.
Seriously? People are paying $45 for Surge?!? I've seen better one night stand decisions being made then the choices being made on amazon orders of Surge
I decided taking Molly and seeing Birdman seemed like a wise life choice.
You introduced her by saying, "This is the girl who sexes me." Then you passed out on the coffee table.
all i remember is slapping you in the face with a slice of pizza while laughing maniacally.
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