For some reason, Oliver from Hannah Montana reminds me of pudding.
That's cute.
You told the bartender you needed 2 beers, and a shot of his cum...
You were mumbling a lot and offered me 20 dollars to leave you alone
i would think by now you'd realize that my penis does whatever the fuck it wants and i have no control over the situation
hey, this is the drunk ass freshman from last night. thanks alot for helping me out last night, i'd probably be on some lawn if it wasn't for you guys! and my mom says thanks for talking to her
I could see myself reflected in his wedding band as i was going down on him.
Let's discuss options later this evening. I'll draw out said options and compare and contrast the "accessibility" of the costume for quickies. Because you never know. Halloween is full of surprises. I'll also compare practicality, level of skank, and creative features.
would you say our friendship is at the "help each other shave animal patterns in each other's pubes" phase?
Somehow ended up home, probably had something to do with the makeshift ladder from my second story window. Now headed to church, still drunk, and still fighting back the vomit of a thousand different alcohols. Successful night.
Pretty sure I love my nipple piercing more than I'll love my children someday
I balled in the shower for 20 minutes, rolled up to the meeting late looking like a gremlin, and my one night stand was standing there in a suit
I'm glad we smoked together,that was probs the biggest sibling bonding we will ever have.
Just let me pee on you and I'll leave you alone.
just walked passed a black light...apparently he DID cum.
It went from a "chill game of beer pong" to "absinthe body shots and a tits parade" in literally two minutes.
Told you inviting her was a good idea.
Randomize
