Is it really that bad? I heard it was like pooping. I like pooping.
Listen, I'm 30. If it doesnt involve a super soaker and some chicken wings, you can count me out.
It's my fault I'm alone. My closest relationship is with my blackberry....thank god it vibrates.
you really dont want me to drink and drive. you saw what i did to my face and that was only from walking
Apparently one comment in my womens studies class cockblocks yourself for an entire semester.
It's because you were crossfaded. And because drinks were 3 dollars. And because they accepted credit cards.
Dude, just look at these fucking curtains and chill out.
we tried to steal a tractor last night. you should have come out.
Her life is proof that being a drunken slut will get you places.
I wish the sun would stop judging me for being drunk while it's still shining.
Just remember my house smells of thick cut bacon and I have a big dick.
Was it cause you feel bad for the ridiculousness my vagina goes through because same
I’m a women at a strip club dressed as post Malone
I'm still drunk, my mom is throwing up, and there is a random Irish guy out getting our house breakfast right now. Wednesday's are my bitch.
Hey! Its not the first time I've been eaten out in a bridesmaids dress in a church by a groomsman!
Randomize
