apparently you CAN get banned from Nascar.
I accidently shit my pants. So I tried to throw my underwear in their lake, but they floated. So in the middle of the night, I got into the paddle boat and had to throw a rock on top of them so they would sink. Next time, I just won't shit myself.
If its called oral, why is it so hard to talk?
And then I chipped his tooth because I got too into it. Helloo, single life.
The girl sitting next to me in class is writing her to-do list under the title 11/31.
He was such a tease, he pulled out his dick, let me touch it then put it away
I'm making a contract of things you're not allowed to put in my ass
I believe some people would call last night an orgy.
They ran out of toilet paper, so I had a girl rip down the streamers so I could wipe.
I threw up in a pringles can. how do you think my night went.
He sent me a selfie with his cat. He has found a way to my heart. And pants.
I'm very aware of my heart moving the blood in my body.
I wanna be like, dude, I peed your bed. Like you laid in my pee. And we're not dating. You can find another fuck buddy who I'm sure won't piss on you.
Is Facebook telling the truth about your nipples?!
I may just have to resign myself to life in flats. He's a sexy little chipmunk that worships me.
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