first i yelled "you cant get it up?" and then in the middle of it i opened a Corona
Just saw truck nuts on a handicap conversion van
I was just making a list of the girls i have slept with and i can't remember your sisters name
i was just texting to let you know that my facebook chat is working again so you can talk to me more. please talk to me more.
so would me posting the photos of the cock and coin jar incident be completely out of the question?
She woke up with blood running down her face and asked the EMS guy where the keg was
i had to cut you off after you shoved a bunch of bottle caps in your mouth and pretended you had braces.
EMERGENCY: IS A KAREOKE RICKROLL ACCEPTABLE IN THE YEAR 2011?
2 rounds of irish car bombs have already been taken to your 5 year sober anniversary
Was the first guy that bit your neck last night wearing a trenchcoat...I have a vague memory.
He said it was fake. Like really? Hey baby, I wanna sleep with you, so here's a picture of a fake tiny dick
Dick sucking on arrival? or would you like to cash that in later?
My manager just held my hair while I threw up in a dumpster. New low.
I have a burn on my hand, I'm covered in bruises, I think my toe is broken, and I have no clothes to wear home.
I’m really upset they canceled the conference. Since the divorce I’ve been working out, I bought cute new outfits and even found a bikini I liked. Now it’s all online. You can’t get laid at a webinar
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