she's naming her girl london marie
that kid will be born with a tramp stamp
all they had in the fridge was rum and filled water balloons
Someone shat in the 1st floor west girls hall. Literally SHAT in the hallway
That's what she gets for taking his peeps.
You've got more to offer than just money. Come on. You have an awesome rack.
I love our strategizing... I wish we used the same passion for planning our lives and future that we use for planning our drunken escapades... We would both be doctors by now, I swear
I opened my eyes this morning, looked at the sunlight and made this hangover my bitch.
He is like a dragon that makes me want to spread my butt cheeks, so he can fill me with hot fire.
He's carved the words "SLAM STATION" into his headboard...
The guy at the rodeo just told me "if ya don't say none, ya don't get none". What the hell does that mean?
Im pretty sure you just got hit on by a gay cowboy.....
That was awkward , having sex with her while her husband watched via Skype. I'm a porn star or a target. Idk
Well shit, I would've slept with him if I knew he was gonna be in the draft.
Yeah. I found my shirt from last night while walking back to the bar to get my purse/phone this morning. I'm never going to even ask what actually happened. Be glad you moved 7 states away.
We spent 45 minutes searching the crevices of our friend's car with a pair of tweezers trying to find the acid that we dropped
I've lost every trace of self esteem. Even sneaking a BJ in the coffee room has lost it's luster.
wtf why is there glitter all over my dog
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