i just shit 3 out of the 4 types of matter
I microwaved pizza rolls, a hot dog, and bacon in the same plate with no paper towels. I drank the grease at the end. I'm going to vomit everywhere.
I just met the 30 percent of the population with an STD
im contemplating emailing my dad and telling him how worthless i am and how sorry i am that he pays for my life...aka my bar tabs.
GET THE DICK OUT OF YOUR MOUTH AND CHECK FACEBOOK.
Honestly, your dog is in better hands with that homeless guy.
Did you ever get our sex tape out of the rental car before you returned it?
His new job just became new places to have sex at.
So much easier to puke and rally now that my gluten's under control
we are the apple cider girls!
This question may sound intrusive, but how did pushing out a baby affect your vagina?
Easter bunny might get some gnarly munches and not even have enought candy left to hand out
I know he's only a bandaid for my emotional disrepair, but he can stick me anytime!!
Never make a coconut bikini from a real coconut.
I smell like old thai food.
where are my eyebrows?
Now all my porn is stored in my parents’ basement. It’s like a part of my soul is boxed up
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