I called her a whore. 15 minutes later she gave me head at arby's while i was eating a roast beef. best afternoon ever
I think we should see other people.
Already working on it.
just walked into the room and her sister said loudly, "do him, or I will."
when we asked you if you had had anything to drink tonight you looked up from the toilet while cupping the water into your hands and said "this.. just this"
i think i made a good impression on his friends wen i survived 55 cup beer pong
btw found the cat. he didn't appreciate the toilet bath.
So it looks like you may be an uncle real soon. Don't ask how I feel about it and don't text me back.
How do you feel about fucking me quick and then me leaving to go do arts and crafts?
WHY ARE YOU POKING HOLES IN MY 3AM LOGIC?!
I am going to ride along with a cop tonight so please don't get arrested because that would be super awkward for me.
I'm out of town so we should be golden.
Some girl just walked passed me, said "fuck yeah!" and is now crawling up the stairs
Calm the fuck down fatty, you can add creme de menthe to a vanilla shake any time of the year
You literally just told me you're ditching me because of pizza. PIZZA? Wow.
He kept saying "i'm lost" while he was sitting on his couch...
Call me a snob but I'm not banging chicks with more fingers than teeth.
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