He's been sleeping iwht ***
Nooo
Yeah I don't even know how, she looks like her mom smoked crack while she was in the womb
And then hit her in the face with a shovel
When I saw him standing at full height, I realized exactly how much his body structure reminds me of his penis.
You kept spitting the skittles out cause you said they tasted like "balls of sandpaper"
yea man just watch out- theres a shitload of broken glass in your bed
I smell like gasoline and adventure.
I got kicked out of the bar for suggesting that the bartender drop her tits into my Redbull instead of the usual liquor
Been in bed for 16 hours. Haven't eaten in 18 hours. Haven't pissed in almost 20 hours. Fuck you Stacey and your former reign as laziest bitch. I got the title now.
He wants to take me instead of his girlfriend to the happiest place on earth... By that He meant Vegas. My morals are just loose enough to think this is a good idea
Is it weird that I'm looking up pubic hairstyles?
If I'm going to keep blacking out this much I need to start taking more pictures.
PLEASE HELP ME THE AMERICANS ARE YELLING ABOUT TURKEY, I DON'T KNOW WHAT TO DO
Your vagina needs to teach my vagina its ways.
I was at a crossroads, dude. Like, do I wanna eat chicken McNuggets or talk about my feelings?
I'm either hallucinating or there is a dying cat outside my apartment....
Definitely went to court without a bra and panties because Mr. LastNight’s dog stole them. I guarantee you I was the only lawyer going commando in court
Randomize
