bruce springsteen sings some of the most romantic songs i've ever heard.
the hells wrong with u
The sun is out and the snow is finally starting to melt here... Vodka bottles keep popping up everywhere. Guess it's the college version of burying nuts for the winter
He had to pee in the sink beside my head because the girl that I was taking care of was passed out on the toilet. To answer your question: yes i took a peek. Thats why we hooked up later.
I told my mom I had sex with him and even SHE was proud. Now that's saying something.
Guy next to me is looking up how to press his own ecstasy pills. I'm going to befriend him and see where this goes
Would a ten year old streaker be inappropriate?
That's the stuff legends are made of
Do you ever feel like your dog agrees with you? Like REALLY really agrees.
Is it weird to say that Kobe reminds me of a wise brontosaurus?
there is a spider sitting on top of my weed like he owns it or some shit
no but seriously tf do i do? i have that spider phobia but i think my lvoe of the weed overpowers it
One day soon I'll learn the difference between a good high and way too high. Today is not the day.
He fucked me while wearing a unicorn horn. I think I have found the one...
Dude if I had a dollar for everytime she asked me to do weird shit with her when we were fucking I'd have like 4$
But once you are just right and I work my tongue in the right spots and hot wax your balls and inner thighs. I will have you right where I want you.
Who is this?
Oops wrong number
You were arrested in a tiara again... maybe you shouldn’t wear one.
I’m photoshopping my boobs to up my Tinder game. I need better dick in 2020
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