you spent the like half the night trying to figure out the puzzles on the back of the captn crunch box
just friend requested my arresting officer from last night. too soon??
I have diapers under my sink. trying to convince myself to use them.
I woke up with the new contact "Britney Both Nipples Pierced"... how do you think the night went?
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He is the Donovan McNabb of stuff up his ass. Tell me that tomorrow. Too high to remember.
At least I tried to be smart when I brought the alarm clock into the bathroom just in case I fell asleep.
oh god...if the people that live above me killed themselves again then im gonna assume im the worst neighbor ever
it was not a walk of shame, it was a ferry ride of shame, and i'm not ashamed, so technically it was just an early morning ferry ride. wearing yesterday's clothing
and semen
I was very proud of myself that day. I had an awesome time. I don't care if I negatively impacted others.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I misjudged the power of my pelvic thrusting capabilities. His nose is broken. Thoughts?
Did you seriously just hashtag my sex life as #yolo2013?
It wasn't a great time! You grabbed me, picked me up, and make me pee in the sink!
I mean, I let him sleep with me after we both ate taco bell sober... That's kinda like love, right?
i guess she just walked over ass naked and peed on his laptop. gonna call an over price on that drunk sex.
They were shocked that I could handle my liquor so well. I'm half Irish and half Russian. This is what I'm made for
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