guy from last night has fluorescent crocs in his closet. judging by the rest of his clothes he doesn't wear them in an ironic way
my periods are so regular now that they are sync-ed with my subscriptions of vogue.
I wish I has some fucking Fairy God Parents, I want a kit kat so bad.
I am not a stalker...i just bring a whole new meaning to the word love
I just took a bite of a bagel at school and it tasted like weed. If I am high for my test in 2 hours I'm gonna kick someones ass
someone who i have in my phone as thundercock just said he was DTF
I mean turning down birthday sex is never the answer
I'm going to keep a tally of how many lives I ruin this summer. Starting today.
Already at 3 and it's not even noon.
We got kicked out of the ice rink last night for drinking and checking strangers... but they let us keep the beer
Does this mean I don't have to apologize for launching about 20 bead necklaces at you from the balcony?
Just gave candy to a strange child. Not my best move.
look for me at the Giants game I will possibly be the drunk girl passed out by 2nd
GUESS WHOSE BEST FRIEND IS OUT OF PRISON!
You told me that you would let her eat cake off of your ass, then fell asleep on the floor
Sorry. I was preoccupied thinking about penises
Randomize
