My carpet still smells like piss and I THINK YOU KNOW WHY.
soooo.. i guess the cop said he'd drop the charges if i go to some AA meetings and i said fuck AA. not one of my better choices.
And that's when he stuck his finger up his own ass to prove it would feel good...
That's the last time we joust in Radio Flyer wagons after margarita night.
Witnessing a crazy lady on the bus screaming about how romney is one of the four horsemen of the apocalypse.
I just messaged a senior at Harvard and told him to 'tinder me softly'
I want to go to a gay rodeo for my cross country road trip. It'll be like my very own homo country boy pilgrimage to the holy land.
Yea. I feel great. My life is great. My job isn't as shitty. And my daddy loves me. I love strip clubs. Great self esteem boost.
I just had the worst experience of my life, my grandma found my condoms.
i have achieved a new state of being which requires no food or water but is sustained only by coffee and pure, unrelenting rage
Dude...are you really going to start sexting during our friend's memorial service?
Mike Pence got the fuck boy eyes though
Validation I posted a good pic? The lonely fuckboys send out the booty call signal. Of course I answered the call; Gotham needs its hero.
i almost got into an argument defending my life choices with a guinea pig eating chocolate cake at 4am
Oh shit. My bra is undone and I'm pretty sure I peed on my sandal
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