I woke up at 1pm, looked in the mirror and fist pumped...I might still be drunk
I hope my theory books are in my locker, but if not, I guess I can always share with you.
Who said I want to share with you?
You've sucked my dick, I'm pretty sure you don't care if I look at your theory book.
Do you think my bosses would frown upon Jameson with breakfast on this holiest of days?
But it was well worth it to see a man fly through the air in a beaver costume...
I figured that I'd start organizing the places ive given head. I'll add treehouse right after bandroom
no. it doesnt count as road head if youre parked
Drunk me thinks I can light up a cig anywhere, sober me finds this hilarious and highly irresponsible. The grocery store is not a bar.
I think I'm interested in anyone that recognizes I actually have a pulse
I came out, you were peeing on the car and when I asked why you said it deserved it because its a rental
Apparently i asked the cab driver how much the ride was going to cost, (he said about $25) then i offered him 50 to let me drive the cab...
I can't wait til I'm a real grown up and am no longer expected to take 7 shots of raspberry ruby as a pregame to a night of drinking natty lite
Yea no bueno and I only brought enough weed to last one night. And it was no Hanukah nug, it didn't last 8 days.
My father is flirting with a transexual server at hamburger mary's. We can never tell him.
Woke up, moved an empty handle of fireball to spit blood, then put the morning cigarette out in it.
I told him I hooked up with his best friend. And then he ate me out. I'm just THAT GOOD.
Randomize
