bahahahaha i would laugh soo hard if someone did this for me hahahaha this guy would become my best friend
After we hooked up, he left the room and no one has seen him since last night. That kid redefined hit it and quit it.
There was a community pot of Ramen, and if you were in the pool you were either fully clothes or ass naked.
I don't know where Tiffany is but I just saw her shoes in the bar lost and found
She carries a brick in her purse. I wouldn't get in a fight with her
Thanks for the cold. I shartted and sat through a whole soccer game. James made 3 scores.
I had a drink called "the white nun." It tasted like Marshmallows, and celibacy.
I ate an entire popcorn ball before bed. I know that because there is popcorn stuck to my poncho. Also. I'm still drunk. Also. I made out with a 19 year old. Also. #barnparties
Can't decide if it was more awkward buying sheets together or disposing of them afterwards
I'm jealous, curious, and aroused. All at the same time.
My job here is done.
The man sent me a video of him doing the helicopter, the least I can do is go visit him in the hospital
Why is there a waffle in the knife drawer?
The real question is why are there knives in the waffle drawer.
So I decided to sleep with him for the first time in months so I can convince him it's his kid instead of the other guy
when your dumb AF ex “accidentally” venmos you $50 and texts you asking for it back..... —sorry I accidentally deleted your number and cashed out
He’s only in town today and our afternoon sex sesh kept getting interrupted by the neighbor’s kid yelling and screaming in the pool
Randomize
