Successfully pulled the houdini tonight. Check that off my list.
well i did feel guilty about it. until i saw how hot the guy was the next day. now, nothing but pride.
i promise ill be ok...btw im only considered "not ok" if i end up in the hospital.
There's a big hole in the wall at the dining hall. I hope we didn't do
Haha I will however wear glass and and draw a lightning bolt scar if you want to have sex that way, and that can be the only time you can call me Harry.
We're gonna have horrible, horrible babies.
be ready to rage tomorrow. like naked ranch dressing rage
Obviously a higher power wants us to be sunday drunk together
So I know we're not talking about this anymore buuuuuut I left heel marks on the wall.
He's getting off drug court. We're doing a super-blunt with 50 dollars worth stuffed inside. He almost cried tears of joy when we told him.
It's 3 in the morning and there is a bird chirping it's head off outside. GOD DAMNIT THIS IS NOT A TIME TO SING OF YOUR CHEERFUL BIRD MERRIMENT YOU STUPID BIRD CUNT!
Stop calling dibs on everything with a vagina you jackass.
That should be the title of my autobiography.
Ones vagina should not have the same slogan as a can of Pringles.
well. can officially check "get caught having sex on the front porch by the neighbors" off the bucket list.
Fuck man, I am really high rn and all I've eaten is different forms of pie
Randomize
