69 is so not fun when his penis is sporting a 70s hairstyle
We planned for the zombie apocalypse. In great detail. Of course there was booze involved.
Just saw 30+ dicks. Explain later.
Is he smart?
Why would i know that. That would deal with the top half of his body. I only deal with the bottom half.
New level of high: If I could bathe in my salsa right now I would.
I fell asleep on the table at Denny's. Told the waitress to wake me up when my burger was there.
Did you just reference Ludacris during my possible pregnancy scare of 2012?!
Due to certain anatomical proportions it was less like fucking and more like childbirth.
Stop making Mac and cheese and sit on his face. FINISH HIM
Im going to be coked out with hello kitty fire arms. Valentines day can suck my dick
MIDGETS
????
Nobody wants to date "Eats Taco Bell Secretly In Her Car" Girl
Your drunk self managed to not pee on anyone's bed
Go me
I'm actually proud
I just found a baklava I forgot I got last night so we can call it a day
He's so drunk that he's ignoring me and just doing what my cat does.
Oh god he's trying to eat cat food... I don't know if I should stop him or continue laughing....
Randomize
