Ok let's jusst not talk today bc then we'll just do dangerous things but I'll say hello
Todays outfit involves shorts with embroidered fish. This kids gonna die.
so I told him I hadn't been laid since Bush was president. Right after he cums, he says "Welcome to the Obama Administration".
how did he go about obtaining bull sperm?
Sometimes one must go to great lengths and make great sacrifices to get drunk. I willingly accept the challenge.
He asked if I smoke and I said "only fools like you on the basketball court!" Then I started crying. I think I'm about to have my period.
how is telling me how long you drunkenly fucked someone supposed to make me miss you?
door buzzer is fixed. took shots with Latvian electrician to celebrate. nice guy. he is gonna bring mixers next time cuz kombucha didn't really cut it for him.
I was having the most awesome dream about onion rings and you hit me and told me to stop touching you...WTF?
Letting two friends screw at my place in exchange for weed. This is my life.
I am one with the molecules
I need you to ship me a penis cookie care package.
I CAN'T FALL IN LOVE WITH SOMEONE WHO HAS A LISP. I JUST CAN'T.
It's difficult to focus on bonds when you know your classmate peed in your mouth
I wish he’d realize all I want is dick. He’s my boytoy. He’s a stunt cock. \n\nCome over, fuck me silly, eat some leftovers, fuck me again, then go back to the frat house
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