Ramen noodles and uncensored jerry springer episodes, what a nice life i have.
come over
yeah sure
wait who is this again? my contacts got deleted...but tell me and ill be there in 10
why didn't we just drop out of school years ago and become dominatrix bitches who beat men?
I don't know but we should still do that
If you stick your dick in my spaghetti, we're fighting.
He kept moaning America instead of Erica while fucking me.
Just had a guy dressed only in a towel ask me for a cig, hug me and kiss me then proceeded to pee of the balcony while still talking to me and callin me baby
HEAR YE, HEAR YE! BY ROYAL DECREE, I WILL BE KNOCKING ON YOUR DOOR AT 2PM UNLESS YOU GET THE FUCK UP. IT'S 1:50. CIGARETTE TIME, BITCH. I LOVE YOU.
I'm on the bus, watching a girl shush her balloons.
I discovered a new stretch mark. DONE. LITERALLY DONE.
Nothing more ironic than raw dogging some random Asian hottie last night and then doing the walk of shame home from her place mixed in with the participants of the AIDS walk
He told me I had smoking hot areolas then he wins an executive of the year award. How does that even happen?
He asked if I had any questions. Apparently, "how thick is the stick up your ass" was not a correct question.
Its a good night when you make $200 and didn't have to see any balls
He drives a PT Cruiser.... that should have been my first clue.
Really should've known 2020 was gonna suck when the guy dressed as baby new year got arrested at our party 5 past midnight...
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