Hi, I just found this phone under my seat at a brewers game and seeing as you're entered in as 'fillllatio' I figured I'd ask you if you know the illiterate ass who owns this phone. Thanks :)
hey can i play with your boom stick tonite? I'll let you shoot the love of jesus in my face.
come over
quitting drinking is the number 5 new years resolution but number 4 is enjoying life more which one do you think im going to pick
I feel uncockblockable...banged her in the bathroom with my iv still in
I am literally using a balloon as a pillow on a park bench.
Sometimes he has weird facial hair...Basically he has a penis... that's what he's got going for him.
I feel like god wrote up a contract of my life, and i just signed off on that shit without reading the fine print.
HOW DID YOU GET DEPORTED FROM THE BAHAMAS
I can't drink with the moms anymore. All they talk about is lactating.
My snow day: told Cam, "we're not dating today, we're just roommates." No bra, boxers, drinking whiskey by myself for the past 2 hours, yelling at The Ultimate Fighter reruns from 3 years ago.
It's cuz all she eats is salt lick, human souls, and fast food
So how'd the job interview go?
well turns out the guy interviewing me was a regular at the strip club where i used to work. Talk about awkward
Leaves on the ground. Coffee in one hand and your man in my other. Lovely fall morning.
So I paid Bumble $10 to see who liked my profile for a month. Cheap, easy dick. It's all about the economics, yo.
What is ur current declared sexuality for my bingo board
Randomize
