trsut me youll find me, im the only kanye west here and every1 is chanting dbag at me
We discussed our relationship status. We're dating exclusively. And the conversation was followed by him saying "C'mon baby, let's make you orgasm!" .....I'm gonna marry him.
A 12 year old Canadian kid said I was a pussy for only buying a 28-pack. I fit in better in this country.
I think it is impossible 2 take a person seriously when their last name is Pancake
The last thing i remember is saying breakfast beer and carrying the keg to my room and locking the door.
Tell me again why I left before the topless cake fight
There's a whistle here and I just want to play my whistle song on it.
There's times when I need to be plowed... and I'm ashamed to admit auto correct was able to predict that entire sentence.
He said it wasn't ladylike of me to drink more whiskey than him. I told him to stop being a little bitch.
I said he looked like a lumberjack and that's when he came. I guess he liked the beard compliment?
I just stood beside an Amish man and bought Cocoa Krispies and tampons.
So it turns out strippers do encores if enough people yell. Encore song: Self Esteem.
Woke up snuggling with a large wooden rhino that I stole last night...obviously, we had fun.
i feel like if my pee,blood, or vomit is on it...it should belong to me by default. can we make that a rule?
If waffles and beer don't scream "fuck me!" then I don't know what else to do.
Randomize
