Totally smoking with fifteen year olds.
After the VIP Latina experience at the strip club last night, I am rooting for Mexico in this years World Cup.
you grabbed the waitors dick and yelled '2nd base' and then he gave you his number. I hate your life.
Just had an old man tip me two dollars and say "here put this in your baby fund, you'll have a baby someday" I swear this is gods way of saying GET ON BIRTH CONTROL NOW!
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I have a physical this friday. On a scale from 1-10, 10 being the most judgemental gay bashing, how much judgement am I gonna get from my dr when he checks my balls and sees the cherry tattoo
so hungover. i just puked at the sight of the beer emoticon you sent me.
I made out with an Italian cab driver. Not cool. Help. Good news he will drive us anywhere we want to go as long as you cook food?!?!?! I want to melt into the pavement.
Ok thats it i need a list. Full names, nicknames, in which frats, with a photo, of all the guys youve hooked up with because three of the same guys is ridiculous
Not a problem, sailor. I speak both autocorrect and typo.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You can't just say "I scored us a potential threesome" and then not text me back.
It finally happened my mom knowingly gave me money to buy drugs i knew this day would come\n
Just let me put on a bra and brush the alcohol out of my hair.
That's good to know, because I will be doing terrible things to you. Terrible things, John, wicked, evil, maniacal things shall happen to you and I will have the audacity to call it sex
STILL COMPLETELY OKAY WITH THIS
Listen I don't care what it's called as long as it's drugs
Put the lady boner away. He's engaged. To my brother. No, life is not fair.
Randomize