I ate one of your animal crackers. just one. ok four. but no frosting. ok frosting.
Oh my god. I think I just sexted my mom...
What?!
Fwd: Ride me, you sleek sleek woman!!!
Dude, just paid my sister in vicodin to go out and buy me a slushie.
My drug dealer asked me out. What's the protocal for this?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
just got passed by a van of kids watching the little mermaid. debating speeding so i can watch
Didn't u have court just yesterday for ur driving?
IT'S THE LITTLE MERMAID! totally worth another year of probation
I am the master of subtle flirting. I seduced him by simulating a hand job with an epi-pen during training.
we used the bottom of a tampon for coke since no one had a 20 on them. My life has resisted to this.
well as your friend its only fair to offer my cock for your services. Cause I care.
Okay. We're coming naked. We need Saran wrap and plastic forks.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Bro, I just googled 36 year old pussy so when I do see it I won't be shocked.
I stopped his blowjob to raise 3 fingers & whistle the hunger games tune to the people walking past the window
The kitchen also doubles as a screaming room after midnight as long as you have something to muffle the sound
I've got a bottle of water, a bag of salad greens, and a bottle of hot sauce. How stoned do you think I am?
Just as an add on, don't expect me to wear matching bra and underwear. If I do, I'm probably drunk and it's your fucking birthday. Have a great night.
Just saw a car towing a guy on skis drive by so that’s how Syracuse is doing today.
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