This girl told me I had the balls of an infant..I replied by saying her vagina looks like Stargate.
Midgets have it so easy. They have so much less leg area to shave.
i don't know what the guinness world record is for longest time eating nothing but skittles but i'm going on six days
We tried to get a ride from the same firefigters that were turning off the fire alarm going off at our house.
Weird we were more concerned with sharing our germs than tag teaming the blow job?
I wonder what blackout Alex would think of her?
probably "functioning vagina, must touch"
When they send me to rehab, I'm screaming your name down the halls.
I am going to buy some m-80's and keep a bucket of them in the bathroom. That way I can just depth charge the toilet before each time I use it. Lets see how those snakes like cheap Chinese explosives
and then you two started interpretive dancing to Mozart
Do they still have sex clubs in San Francisco? Because that'd be an interesting way to spend Easter.
I've sent two unsolicited tit pictures in less than 24 hours. I'm the female version of a fuckboy.
just woke up on the floor with a bottle in my hand. and by bottle, i mean a baby bottle. half filled with tequila.
I told my mom that I might be hungover today so she needs to make me an omelet.. it happened and I'm happy
Didn't know my clit could produce that many orgasms in one night. Fuck my husband; think I might have to become a lesbian.
He was eating me out on a picnic table on the frame lake trail and right after I came, a group of hikers walked around the corner. Stood up just in time
And this is one of the many reasons why you need a car.
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