Incredible sex, Maddow, more sex, spoon, sex again
Sundresses, hats, and big glasses. That is the greatest trick the devil ever taught women.
At any point in time, have you stopped and thought "I wonder how high Willie Nelson is right now?
It's a Westpoint/Army thing, we talk about Miley Cyrus a lot
Why?
Because when is jailbait ever not funny? Answer: Never
Changed my sheets. Found a can of rockstar, crushed bag of tostitos, used tissues, and enough of both of our clothes to make a whole outfit.
Never underestimate the healing power of vomiting and a bath.
the guy in the stall next to me, came in, farted, laughed, and proceeded to give himself some sort of hillbilly pep talk that included the phrase "big pussy".
He's blaming gravity for his problems right now, so put that in perspective
I AM HAVING A WEIRD OUT OF BODY EXPERIENCE. IN CAPS LOCK.
My adult sexuality and some of the best memories of my childhood collided like a Pee Wee Herman wet dream.
Elaborate
Strip Mario-Kart
Sometimes I actually rage on Tuesday, come back, and do homework drunk and pull an all nighter.
Any residual attraction has just been ruthlessly murdered by that mustache.
so in addition to the two guys I slept with last night, and the third that I turned down this morning, a fourth has appeared. best Valentine's Day ever.
He wrote his entire dissertation last night. I can only imagine the frightening amount of headway he would make if he ever did things sober.
Why did I wake up with a skeleton in my bed? Is it from the lab?
Oh crap, that's where it ended up. Yeah, don't ask.
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