Where are you?
In a non slutty way
so i hit rock bottom, god threw me a shovel. i continued to dig.
The dean held back my hair as I was puking after graduation. That means so much more than a diploma and a handshake.
So instead of getting the if-you-hurt-my-little-girl-youre-dead talk, i got the alcohol-is-our-friend talk, i like her dad already
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
What's the wine called that we really like and we usually drink it with xanax?
I was greeting people at my door feeding them jello shots out of an ice cube tray with a spoon.
I think winning the long island race means you lose at life
Just got done fucking the squirter chick. She came when we were in a 69. I now know what it's like to be water boarded.
Also, I found out tonight a major plus for being female is you can accidentally call the hot bartender sweet tits and she won't get mad.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I am not working on the very first day I can throw up alcohol that I legally bought and drank.
It's one PM on a Saturday and I'm sitting here drinking Jack, eating a block of cheese and playing Minecraft. Please tell me you can come drag me to a bar.
I worked all year for this tax return. I deserve to get my nipples pierced.
After the day I've had, I can't decide if donuts or fireball would be the appropriate priority.
Have you ever wondered if we are just made up characters in someone's head? You'll have to forgive me right now I think I have 7 thumbs
You can come over but I have to warn you that it is naked Sunday.
Randomize